Manifesting Clarity

It can be easy to lose sight of one's own purpose in an era where we are constantly comparing ourselves to others in media, and media constantly telling us what we should be doing with our lives if we want to live it "right". I surely am no stranger to binging self-improvement content on YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, LinkedIn, X,... I could honestly go on and on. And don't get me started on how the constant comparisons of influencers and other people online affects my mental health.

I remember there was a time I wanted to be a better student so I started watching YouTube tutorials for math. After a few videos, I got bored and started watching other people how I should study to be a better student (use the Pomodoro technique, use Obsidian to write notes, block out studying time in your calendar, live in the library, don't eat breakfast, etc). In the end, I ended up not getting my homework done, feeling overwhelmed with the amount of things I have just been told I should be doing, and forgetting the whole reason I even wanted to become a better student in the first place.

I'm in a similar mindset right now. I am one quarter away from getting my degree in Computer Science and Mathematics, but I've lost my vision for getting the degree in the first place. Faculty, professors, and family members have constantly told me I have a lot of potential and I should finish my degree because it'll give me money, give me a good job, get me into graduate school, or because I owe it to my parents, or society, or because I have the gifts, so if I don't go on to do X, Y, or Z, it would be wasted potential.

Frankly, they might be right. But since everyone is pulling me in different directions and I've burnt out, I've completely forgotten why I am doing this in the first place. I am struggling to find my why for finishing out this year, and no, I am not happy with the argument that it's just a quarter more of work. I need a stronger why to ensure I finish it, and am able to use the momentum afterwards to accomplish what I want to do. And frankly, I feel just as lost with everything going on in my life, not just academically. So what can I do?

A Long Long Time Ago...

This is not the first time I felt this way. About 2 years ago, I remember that I was feeling lost and restless about everything. I didn't know what I was doing nor why I was doing it. That was when I went to an E-STEM event where a professor led us through mindfulness practices. I thought it was going to be a lot of breath work and bringing our mind back to the present, which don't get me wrong, would still be helpful in these anxiety-induced situations. However, this session wasn't a normal mindfulness session that I've been to.

The professor had us take out writing utensils, and start answering some prompts to create our manifesto. Although I may not remember the exact prompts she had us answer, I remember they were focused on who we are, who we want to be, and what we want to accomplish throughout our lives. It was therapeutical to say the least, to be able to slow down my anxieties and unknown, and start analyzing who I want to be as a person rather than focusing on what everyone else is saying I should be.

Throughout the process, I was able to question myself and make sure that I am on the right track of who I envision myself to be. I was also able to clear up any questions I had about my goals and how I wanted to accomplish them (big picture ideas). This helped ease my mind about what I was doing and why I was doing it. This helped me go the rest of the year with a clear vision and a strong "why" for everything I was doing.

Time to Manifest your Manifesto

So that is what I am going to be doing during this Spring Break: I am going to utilize my natural reset point to rewrite and remind myself who I am and what I want to accomplish by answering a series of questions. Unfortunately, since I don't remember the exact prompts that was given to me when I last did one, I'm going to use the omniscient AI chatbots to create a list of questions to guide my manifestation of a manifesto. In the end, a manifesto is just a public declaration that outlines beliefs, aims, and policies of a person, group, political party, or movement, often used to express a strong opinion or propose a course of action (stolen directly from Wikipedia, not my words), so there is no right way to write one.

Here are a list of initial questions that CoPilot gave me:

1. Who am I?
2. What are my core values?
3. What motivates me to get out of bed every morning?
4. What are my passions and interests?
5. What are my strengths and talents?
6. What are my weaknesses and areas for improvement?
7. What are my long-term goals?
8. What are my short-term goals?
9. What kind of person do I want to become?
10. What impact do I want to have on the world?
11. What legacy do I want to leave behind?
12. What are my biggest fears and how can I overcome them?
13. What does success mean to me?
14. What does happiness mean to me?
15. Who are the people that inspire me and why?
16. What are the most important relationships in my life?
17. How do I want to be remembered by others?
18. What are the obstacles that might prevent me from achieving my goals?
19. How can I stay motivated and focused on my goals?
20. What daily habits can I develop to support my goals?
21. What is my ultimate purpose or mission in life?

Reflect and Construct

After answering these questions, hopefully you feel a sense of peace and security of knowing what you want. If you don't, I never claimed to be an expert so don't cancel me. But the answers can now be consolidated into a cohesive manifesto in whatever format you want it in: poem, speech, writing, essay, call to action, policy brief, research proposal, etc. Be creative and make it work for you. I'd also recommend making it visible so you can be reminded of your manifesto. I'd challenge you to make it public even, not just to yourself but to the world. Accountability is very helpful when thinking big picture.

Keep in mind also that as time goes on, your ambitions might change and that is totally ok! Just make sure to review and update your manifesto to reflect that change of ambition so you don't feel forced to push through for a goal you don't care about anymore. On the other hand, if you are changing your manifesto every few weeks or months, that might be a sign you aren't thinking big enough again.

In the end, it's hard to stay on track with one's own goals and purpose in life, especially when others are constantly telling us their opinions about who they think we ought to be. Writing a manifesto will not only clear up goals and ambitions, but also help remind us who we are and why we do what we are doing. Best of luck, and you'll see my manifesto sometime soon.